What foolishness would you like to see?
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SAM EAGLE
I apologize. (Sighs.) Now, where was I? Yes, safety instructions. First, when entering the theatre, please move as far to the end of the row as possible. Stopping in the middle is distinctly un-patriotic. Second, do not attempt to walk while wearing your 3D glasses. (GONZO walks by wearing 3D glasses.) You may trip — and frankly, you will look — (GONZO trips.) What are you doing?
GONZO
I’m just showing how you can trip if you walk with your glasses on.
SAM EAGLE
Will you stop this foolishness?!
GONZO
What foolishness would you like to see?
This exchange between Sam Eagle and Gonzo in Muppet Vision 3D makes me laugh every time, mostly because it’s the exact kind of reply I can hear coming from my children when I’m trying to contain their hijinks and channel it into the acceptable range for whatever situation we find ourselves in. Basically, they’d like to know where the line is, and “how close can we get to it?”
My husband and I are far from perfect parents, but one thing we try very hard to do, that has worked well for our family, is to prepare and equip our children for new experiences ahead of time. We’ll talk them through the event and break it down into parts, for example if we’re taking them to a wedding “remember you need to be quiet during the ceremony, but there will be a big party after where you can dance and eat cake.” We give them examples of phrases they can use if they don’t know what to say, like “Congratulations!” or, “I like your dress!” And we allow them to ask as many questions as they want (often this part goes a little off the rails, but I secretly love that).
Talking about it in advance sets them up to feel comfortable, and to know what we expect from them and what they can expect from us. It allows us to work together as a team toward a common goal, and also gives us an opportunity to celebrate their success.
We have been taking our children to Walt Disney World since they were very small, which has given us ample opportunity to know what works with our kids in the theme parks so that everyone has a good experience. One major component of this has been teaching our children how to wait in line. They are experts now, and even consider it to add to their enjoyment of the parks, but here is how we got started.
Before we leave home, we talk about what to expect. It sounds something like this: “Walt Disney World is a very popular place to visit. We will see a lot of people there, and many of them have traveled a long way. Everyone is there to have a good time and enjoy the parks. This means that we will need to wait our turn at the rides, shows, and restaurants. Just like we want to have a good time, we are excited for other people to have a good time too.” Also, dear parents: if you visibly dislike waiting in line, your kids are not going to like it either. Your attitude sets the tone, so fake it ’til you make it.
Next, we practice waiting in line. If your children attend school, waiting in the lunch line is a good way for them to understand the etiquette of waiting in line, but if they do not have this kind of experience (maybe even if they do), it can be helpful to practice at home in a low-stakes way. You can practice waiting in line at dinner time, or even set up an imaginary Disney ride in your yard and practice taking turns. When we practice waiting in line with our kids, we also make sure to talk about respecting personal space. “We don’t know the people in front of us or behind us. Let’s make sure to respect them by giving them plenty of space, and by paying attention to how we’re moving our bodies.” This is my subtle way of informing my children that “this is not the place to hone your break-dancing and/or parkour skills.” You can give them silly examples in a light-hearted manner, and still communicate ways that they can get the wiggles out without accidentally hurting their line neighbor in the process.
While you’re practicing, this is a good time to give specific compliments like “wow! You are so patient.” Or, “thank you for paying attention to where others are standing.” I like to have this language in place before we travel, so it is already familiar when we need it.
Walt Disney World will present you with a myriad of sights, sounds, and smells. Your kids might be out of their usual routines, and will be in an unfamiliar place. So, preparing them at home for parts of the experience that are not the most fun can be a big advantage, because it can be harder to behave when we’re overstimulated or tired or hungry or hot or all of the above.
If we’re preparing to get in a long line (more than 10-15 minutes), we first try to assess everyone’s needs, and then make a plan to address them. Definitely take a restroom break before any long line. At some point, you’ll be one of the people trekking backward in line, carrying your toddler surf-board style, and repeating your new mantra of “excuse us,” “pardon me,” “excuse me” all the way to the bathroom, or until your voice gives out. And that’s okay (we’ve all been there), but if you can avoid it, I think you’ll find it’s worth the extra 5 minutes before hopping in line. If anyone is hungry, it’s good to have a stash of snacks in your bag (Disney doesn’t allow anything in glass containers), but if you don’t you can always make that the next stop on your agenda. We find that if we tell our kids “we’ll go get a snack right after this ride,” knowing that’s the plan is usually enough to hold them over. You can even talk about what snack they’d like to get while you wait in line. There are lots of exciting options, many of them Mickey-shaped!
While we wait, we use that time to talk about what we’re doing next, but we also try to take note of our surroundings. Once you settle on your next port of call, try to notice not just the visual cues around you, but to engage your sense of smell (okay maybe not too carefully if you’re in close quarters with other sweaty people), and to hear the background music that has been carefully chosen. One of the key differences in a Disney destination is that everything is meant to tell a story — even the lines. Our kids like to search out details and clues about the experience ahead, even if they have been there dozens of times before. We always seem to notice something new, and we all have favorite details we enjoy noticing time and again. Certain queues have been purpose-built for this kind of clue hunting, such as the Haunted Mansion, which offers you a full murder mystery to solve. Others offer less of a direct narrative, but still envelop you in the surroundings of an unfamiliar land, like Avatar Flight of Passage (my kids really enjoy the cave paintings here). Our oldest could have spent at least an hour in the queue for Rise of the Resistance, noticing every last button and ribbon on his favorite characters’ uniforms. For him, that ride began the moment we stepped in line. If this sounds like your cup of tea, you might also enjoy the Hidden Mickey Guide to add to your observations while you wait. Or, if this is a non-starter, I have also been so thankful for the spontaneous conversations we have had as a family while we wait in line. We talk about friends, hobbies, books we’re reading, or even funny and exciting things that have happened so far on vacation. I have joked that the kids love Disney for the rides, I love it for the conversations we have while we’re waiting for the rides. We try to limit the use of our phones while we’re in line, so we can be more engaged with the kids (you’ll also probably find that your battery drains more quickly than usual, so if phones or other devices will be key to keeping your little ones appeased, plan accordingly).
Of course, every wait will not be filled with magic and pixie dust. When a child is struggling, it’s a good time to revisit your pre-vacation practice sessions. Some of the queues can be dark or dimly lit, or the volume of people talking can make it difficult to hear. If you can, it’s good to be close to your child’s level so they can hear you, and also so they can receive comfort or reassurance from your proximity. “Remember when we practiced this at home? I know that waiting can be hard, especially when you are excited about what comes next. Can you tell me what we need to do while we’re waiting in line?” Then you can restate your expectations with the child: “we need to respect the space of the people around us, etc.,” and also offer encouragement, “you have done a great job today! I really enjoyed experiencing ____ with you.” We try to offer reminders of the expectations often, before they are necessary, until they become second nature.
Overall, as parents we know that when we are on vacation, we are not in optimal conditions for kids to behave perfectly, and we plan accordingly. We don’t hold our kids accountable for being overtired, hot, hungry (STAAAARRRRVVVVING-uhhhh!), thirsty, or needing to potty (yes, again). We offer empathy, and do our best to anticipate those needs, and we celebrate every little success with abandon. Vacation is a time for us to build our children up and remind them of so many things we love about them. Here are some of my favorite ways to encourage my kids on vacation:
You are so brave.
I love your curious mind. Maybe we can learn more about this together when we get home.
Wow! You notice great details.
You have been very patient. Thank you.
I love trying new things with you.
The way you have behaved makes it easier for us to take you to new places. You are a great traveler.
I would go anywhere with you. You are so much fun!
I am so thankful I get to spend this time with you.
When we celebrate these successes with our children, they are eager to repeat them. When we intentionally equip them to succeed, our vacation memories are chock full of celebratory moments, and those memories make the best souvenirs.
